Where I come from, the first of September usually means waking up to cooler mornings and donning a sweatshirt to sit around campfires in the evenings. I’m quickly learning that September in Texas is quite a bit different and that’s ok! I’ll still be finding my way to grab a Pumpkin Spice Latte in the near future!
Here in Promiseland we’re starting a month that focuses on Making Disciples. Y’all. If there’s one thing you need to know about my heart for children’s ministry it is this:
Discipleship is my JAM!
It is my heartbeat and the number one thing that I’m excited about as I’ve transitioned from my previous ministry to this one!
Our key passage this month is Matthew 26:19-20, otherwise known as The Great Commission. This month your children will be learning about different individuals who helped the Gospel to continue to spread. These men (and women) were accepted at times and other times were rejected, ridiculed, or imprisoned for believing in Jesus. They’ll learn that the Gospel is meant to unite believers, and it is my prayer that God will use this month to help your child be able to answer this question: Am I a disciple of Jesus?
They’ll learn about disciples, but what does discipleship look like today? What does it look like in our homes? Parents, can I encourage you to think about the fact that you have an incredible opportunity and responsibility to be the primary disciple makers of your children. Ultimately you can’t make the decision for them to follow Jesus, but you can point them to Jesus before, during, and after that decision making process.
How? Here’s the thing. I’m not going to tell you that if you follow a specific check list of spiritual disciplines (Family Devotions, Prayer time, Quiet time, Scripture memory, Fasting, etc.) that your kid is going to automatically follow Jesus. I’m not going to sit here and tell you to give up all your extra curriculars to just spend more time focusing on Jesus. I’m not even asking you to start shoving a bunch of Jesus sayings or verses down your kid’s throat.
Discipleship is simply doing life with someone, meeting them where they are at in their spiritual journey, and encouraging them along the way while pointing them to Christ. Yes, the spiritual disciplines are an important part in the process, but they are not the only part. I’ve been reading a book entitled “The Other Half of Church” by Jim Wilder and Michel Hendricks, and the whole premise of the book is that the spiritual disciplines become MORE effective and actually have higher rates of producing character transformation in people when they are in the context of healthy attachment relationships that are nurturing and that produce joy.
“Judas wonders why Jesus doesn’t reveal Himself to everyone (John 14:22-24). Jesus says that He reveals Himself only to those who love Him. Love is the first step. We love Jesus, and we will obey. When we do not love Jesus, we will not obey Him. Our loving attachment to Jesus forms our character. One view of Jesus’ teaching would conclude that we need to choose to obey, and this will prove that we love Him. This is exactly backwards. If I want to obey Jesus, I need to focus on skills that help me love Him and receive His love. My behavior will then take care of itself. Our brains are designed to change us through love!” – Wilder, Hendricks – The Other Half of Church, “How Do People Grow” p. 41
So, as parents and primary disciple makers, I would encourage you to start with this question:
“How is my relationship with my child?”
And remember to think about this for each individual child. Be honest, but don’t beat yourself up if you feel like you’re not measuring up or you feel like your relationship is severely lacking. I’m not a parent yet, but I’ve walked life with a lot of my parent friends before, and my favorite thing to do is to look them in the eye as an outsider and say,
“You’re not failing your kid. You are doing a good job!”
Oh how I wish I could just sit down across from each of you, hear your hearts and then look you in the eye and say the exact same words! Parenting is hard and messy work and it’s becoming harder and harder in an ever changing culture.
So like I said, I don’t want these words to make you feel like you’re not measuring up! The reality is, none of us are failing and none of us have arrived at perfect parenting! The question above is simply a starting point to emphasize the reality that if the attachment in your relationships with your kids are strained or have become weak, then my encouragement would be to work on genuinely strengthening that first in ways that your child responds to. Then while you’re waiting for that bond to strengthen, make sure they see you modeling the character traits and commitments to spiritual disciplines that you desire to see in them, and eventually, invite them to be a part of one with you.
I would LOVE to have individual conversations with anyone who is wanting specific advice about situations with their children. Again, I’m not a parent, but I’ve loved studying more about child development over the last couple of years, and promise…yes PROMISE to encourage you as a parent with steps to move forward and with prayer! It would bring me no greater joy than to be able to walk with you in prayer for wisdom to know how to best point your family to Jesus!
In closing, here is another quote I heard recently during an interview between a pastor in the middle east, a partner in the ministry who is in the western world, and Jennie Allen when talking about how a nation is changed. Money doesn’t work. Infrastracture doesn’t work. The ministry partner said this:
“The only way to change a nation is through discipleship.”
The Church in Iran and Afghanistan have grown TREMENDOUSLY over the last few years because in the secretness of spreading the Gospel through the underground Church, people are being discipled into committed Jesus followers who refuse to back down no matter what other men may say. That quote made me think with GREATER urgency, that we need to properly disciple our kids if we have any hope of changing the course that our country is on.
I believe it’s possible. Do you?
I’m praying it’s possible! Will you?
