Dear Parents,
Our job is hard. God entrusts us with the precious lives of our children. We are given the responsibility to love, nurture, provide for, protect and point them to Christ so that they will treasure Him above all else.
Add onto our job as parents the unexpected challenges of walking through crisis, a global pandemic, national unrest over systemic racism and we find ourselves overwhelmed.
It is all so much!
How do we as parents teach our children how to navigate difficult things when we ourselves can hardly grasp them?
How do we talk to our children about the challenges of racial inequality, racial injustice, and political division on top of the ups and downs of a novel virus that has disrupted the whole world’s “normal.”
Fellow parents, I hear you!
I know you are tired. I know you are overwhelmed. I know 2020 has not been the “Best year ever” that you started out dreaming of.
Take heart.
God has called you to this and He will equip you for it, if you seek Him earnestly.
Let me encourage you to not throw your hands up in despair and turn to whatever numbing thing you turn to when you don’t want to deal with what’s at hand. You know “that thing.”
Instead, I plead with you to swallow your fear, equip yourself, and have the hard yet fruitful conversations with your kids.
Parents, our children are watching us! They are looking to us to teach them how to respond to the challenges they face. It’s hard. It’s exhausting. Yet, it’s beautiful and exciting and uniquely designed by God. Rejoice in your role as parents, as primary faith trainers, as spiritual leaders! What an incredible gift. And keep in mind, If we don’t talk to them about it, they will turn somewhere else.
Here are some ideas of how to carefully and confidently talk with your children through hard things. The process works for all topics, but today, specifically due to current events, I highlight the issue of race and inequality:
1.) Pray. This is really part of every step and not a separate step in itself, but it deserves expanding on. Pray. Not because you are told to, not because you think it’s the right thing to do, but because IT IS YOUR BREATH! Prayer is the breath in our lungs from the Giver of Life. Prayer is listening and receiving as much as it is crying out and raising up. As parents, we must pray!
2.) Meditate on God’s word. This takes time. This takes intentionality. This takes sacrifice. To KNOW the word of God means to know the heart of God. To KNOW the heart of God you have to take the Bible in its entirety, as one big story that points to Jesus, and see how God is magnified! As you reflect on God’s word and as you tune your heart to God’s heart, you will begin to hear less of the noise of the world and more of the Shepherd’s voice. As you reflect on God’s word, resist the temptation to pull a verse out of context to fit your opinion. That is not how God speaks and it is often done self-servingly instead of God honoring.
3.) Self-reflection. Consider how you have responded to what you have seen and heard? We have to humbly and honestly check our own heart and mind before moving on to help others. (Matt 7:3-5). Ask yourself, “Could it be possible that I am unaware of some of the injustices that our brothers and sisters of color have gone through?” God commands us to love Him first, and then love our neighbor. What does it look like to love your neighbor, all neighbors, as yourself? What does it look like to treat everyone as image bearers, made in the image of God? Just because your own experiences may show nothing wrong in the area of racial inequality, please resist the temptation to discredit the experiences of people of color.
4.) Invite others into a conversation. We were created for community and this means talking through difficult situations with others and listening to different perspectives. This includes your spouse, your kids, your neighbors, your friends, your family. It is important to enter into conversations with people who have a different perspective and different experience than us. If we continue avoiding the hard conversations we will never grow. This is not for the purpose of arguing but to listen, learn, understand, grow, heal, reconcile.
5.) Keep learning and growing.
Here are some resources and ideas for how to have conversations with your kids about race:
Right Now Media:
The Mr. Phil Show highlights important people of faith throughout history, including many people of color.
Torchlighters: Harriet Tubman-
Websites:
The Malachi Project: https://www.ihopkc.org/malachiproject/
Pretty Good- Your Kids Aren’t Too Young to Talk About Race: Resource Roundup
How to Talk to Your Children About the Death of George Floyd
Books for kids:
God Made Me and You: Celebrating God’s Design for Ethnic Diversity by Shai Linne
Celebrate! Our Differences By: Sophia Day and Megan Johnson
ColorFull: Celebrating the Colors God Gave Us by Dorena Williamson
The Story of Ruby Bridges by Robert Coles
The Skin You Live In by Michael Tyler
Ron’s Big Mission by Rose Blue and Corinne J. Naden
The Stone Thrower by Jael Ealey Richardson
The Other Side by Jacqueline Woodson
Each Kindness by Jacqueline Woodson
Little Leaders: Bold Women in Black History by Vashti Harrison
The Snowy Day by Ezra Jack Keat’s
Hair Love by Matthew A. Cherry
The Youngest Marcher by Cynthia Livinson
Resist by Veronica Chambers
Not My Idea: A Book About Whiteness by Anastasia Higginbotham
A Book About Racism by Jelani Memory
Most of this list of books is not “Biblical” in nature, but rather offers a wide range of options that highlight people of color. They vary in age appropriateness and heaviness. I have read them all. Some are lighthearted, others are not. Some have good endings, some do not. But I encourage you to consider them as you prepare to talk to and educate your kids about race. This is meant to be used as a tool to help our kids see things from a different perspective.
I challenge you. I plead with you. Lead by example. Your children are watching.
Grace and peace,